i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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