Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you would pick up someone in the library
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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