hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
