worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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