i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
