apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He? As in you personified your dick?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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