i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
