Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
