I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize