I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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