Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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