batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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