yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
