i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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