gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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