I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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