So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
