i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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