Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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(612): from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/b39s

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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(732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja

Replies (3) Good night (1723) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

(339): View more from Massachusetts

Oh yeah that.

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(781): WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? (339): Oh yeah that. http://tfl.nu/clil

Replies (50) Good night (1895) Bad night (5168)
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(702): View more from Nevada

As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

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(702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1

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(530): View more from California

He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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(530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy

Replies (20) Good night (1096) Bad night (5621) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

(1-940): View more from Texas

I don't have a cat..?

(940): View more from Texas

Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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(940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0

Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (5042)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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(502): Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat. http://tfl.nu/hdie

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

and then ....

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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(215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h

Replies (24) Good night (5907) Bad night (1438)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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(636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

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(901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again

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(781): I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again http://tfl.nu/5dv2

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(954): View more from Florida

and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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(954): and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner http://tfl.nu/ab93

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(419): View more from Ohio

Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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(419): Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me. http://tfl.nu/g7iq

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(595): View more from

In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.

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(595): In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today. http://tfl.nu/kbdd

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(813): View more from Florida

My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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(813): My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me. http://tfl.nu/3nzi

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