But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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