He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
