i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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