The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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