seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
