I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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