Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
