Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
