Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
