I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
