It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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