Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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