I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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