your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish I only lived at night.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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