i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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