I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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