Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
this will be a night to untag.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize