A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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