How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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