So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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