We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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