No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
