peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to sanitize my soul.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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