Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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