I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
