hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize