Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
