What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
