goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
COCAINE IS GR8
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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