This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
