Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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