I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
