He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
