I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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