Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
