so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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