I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
