love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
