Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
