I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
