Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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